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Let Go and Let God

let go and let god, faith, inspiration, change, new years resolution, 2014

I've been umming and ahhing about writing this post for a few days. I'm not one for over sharing or new years resolutions (as I never stick to them) but I wanted to share this with you as I figured it may help someone.

I'm great at worrying and getting stressed out about things, when I say great I mean an expert. If you need someone to worry on your behalf give my a call I seem to be up for the job. The thing is it doesn't make me happy, the opposite, in fact it makes me utterly miserable.

The past 2 years have been really tough for me for the most part I've not mentioned it here on the blog as some things are best kept private. The difficult times have been made harder by what I've come to recognise as my negative mind set. I'm a pretty proactive person, I love to make plans, lists and take control. The trouble is when you love to be in control and things happen that are out of your control you're stuffed. You realise that your lists and plans amount to nothing. It's taken around 24 months for me to realise that the only thing I have control of is me and my thought patterns. I'm really starting to see that "as a man (or woman) thinks in his heart so is he". In simple terms your life will go in the direction of your most prominent thoughts. I recognised that my most prominent thoughts were rooted in fear. The reason I love to plan so much is because I lived in fear of things going wrong, wanting to balance that out I made a multitude of plans hoping that they would be a solution or remedy to life's issues. But what do you do when despite all your plans you still don't have answers? Thats the position I found myself in.

I went through several emotions when the realisation hit me; "I don't have all the answers and I cant control everything". First off I was angry then afraid, afraid that my hopes and dreams wouldn't come true and my life would amount to nothing. After months of pretty much constant wallowing I reached a point where I said enough is enough, I desperately wanted to be happy but all I was doing was focusing on negative things or things that were missing in my life. Worrying and being anxious began to take it's toll it lead me to feeling dissatisfied with my life in general, this was probably the worst part for me. I figured if I'm ever going to be happy I have to focus on the good things in my life. That's when I started to say aloud to myself daily the things I was grateful for, I would literally list them. Doing that made so much of a difference it helped me to see that things were not all doom and gloom. I began to realise that what I needed more than anything was faith, not necessarily in myself and my plans but in God. I needed to trust that he is in control of my life, and would make all the crooked paths straight. The moment I relinquished the need to control everything the cloud that is anxiety began to lift from on top of me. Now every time I feel anxious and feel the clouds coming my way I remind myself that I don't need to have all the answers as someone who cares for me already does, and he's looking out for me with my best interests at heart.

It's not to say that I'm any less proactive and that I don't love to plan ahead and make a multitude of list. It's just that I'm beginning to put things into perspective. I've set myself a goal for this year and that's to let go and be happy. A very good friend of mine has a tattoo that says "let go and let God", so thats what I'm going to do let God take control, my part is to trust and be happy.

I know this is a little different from my usual posts and that not everyone will agree or relate to it but I wanted to share it anyway, in the hope that my story would bless someone.

Hoping and praying that 2014 will be all you desire and more x

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